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"Screws"

A customer recently told us about these things called “screws”. Apparently they are quite useful for many different things,…

Apple Computer

Join the snobby elite with your brand new 2017 Apple computer. You can purchase this prestigious status symbol from…

Banger

Very few people have heard of bangers, but they are one of the oldest tools known to man. Most…

Cat Annoyance Device

Doesn’t your cat just really piss you off sometimes? Get revenge! Cats seem to think this thing is…

Cellular Telephone Connection Transceiver

Now, thanks to modern technology, you need never be out of touch! You can lug this Ct2-Unit most anywhere…

Darkness Destroyer

Keep the Dark Lord at bay! Push the button and this magical device will flood the area in front…

Dihydrogen Monoxide

Excellent fire extinguisher. Very powerful solvent. Corrodes many types of metal, especially iron and steel. Cleans away…

Global Warming Personal Protection Device

Be comfortable in the apocalypse! Simply place this device in any window, plug it in, and stay nice and…

Hitchhiker's Friend

Another great product of alien technology (see our wireless extension cord). Multipurpose. Use as a blanket, a…

Idea Indicator

Now your comrades can know when you’ve had an idea, even though you are shielded with our Thought Protection…

Internet Trolling Shield

Amazing breakthrough! Who ever thought it could be this simple? Just place the pointy end around the wire…

Roadrunner Capture Sticks

Straight from ACME labs, we bring you this multipurpose material. These sticks do not capture roadrunners directly, but can…

Thought Protection Fabric

Keep your thoughts your own! This microfiber nanomaterial shields your thoughts from being read or controlled by those pesky…

Transmogrifier

A new licensing agreement from Calvin & Hobbes allows us to bring you this piece of high-tech equipment at an…

Wireless Extension Cord

Using sub-mesonic wave propagation technology newly acquired from space aliens, these wireless extension cords allow you to place lights and…

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